Holy Hell, Motherhood is Hard

I made a promise with myself to be honest about pregnancy, and I wanted to do the same with motherhood and birth. I’m writing this almost at the one month mark, and I want to be real. Really real.

I’d heard the first couple weeks were hard, and I tried to brace myself, and I still underestimated it. I think it’s hard for every new mom – maybe for some it’s only a couple of days, and for some it’s several weeks, but it’s hard. And I think it can be hard for different reasons.

First up, the c section. It made it really hard for me to move the first two weeks, and almost impossible the first week. I felt terrible, and it that was hard for me to deal with. And, I had to rely on Gabe for help A LOT, which he was so great about, but was just a little hard for my ego.

Then, the sleep deprivation. I won’t lie, this was probably the hardest thing for me. Especially once we brought him home – he’d wake up around 2 or 3 and then he would just be awake for hours. Babies don’t come out knowing night and day, and this proved to be tough on us. I will admit I’m lucky and he breastfeeds like a champ, though I did end up with mastitis once. Breastfeeding is the physically hard part for a lot of moms, but sleep was it for me.

Once we started getting used to the sleep a little bit, it was also mentally hard for me to be the sole caregiver night and day. 2 weeks after I gave birth, Gabe was back at work and it was just me and Ollie, all day. And then at night I tried to let him get some sleep. So all day, and all night. And don’t get me wrong, my son is amazing and beautiful and fantastic but it is not easy giving one demanding human being 22 hours a day of your time.

I think we’re finally starting to get the hang of things. And I repeat, I love this kid. He’s adorable and he’s my son and I love him to death. But I had to say it. The first couple of weeks are hard. But if you’re expecting, or a new mom – it is true, they do get better.

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